To make a long story short: I have anxiety. My s.o. And I hit some major setbacks financially last year but we managed to turn it all around within the year. So I’m ready for a vacation, ya feel me?

So I did what we all do, the first step to booking a vacation, deciding where to go. That’s when my anxiety ran me the fuck over – every place I even thought for a moment that I might like to travel to, my anxiety immediately told me that if I went there I was going to die. It wasn’t a specific fear based on recent news stories from any particular area – it was just an overlying feeling of dread that made my chest feel tight and my heart hurt.

It felt like I wouldn’t be able to go and do something that I truly wanted to do just because I had this giant, irrational weight sitting on my chest keeping me from even choosing a destination.

But we did choose a destination – we booked our tickets to go back to Japan and Taiwan in May!

I managed to get past (not over) my irrational feeling of impending doom regarding choosing a destination in a couple of ways. After all, it wouldn’t be a very fun vacation if I spent the whole time assuming I was about to die.

Remind Yourself that Sometimes Anxious Feelings are Just Excitement

I was talking to my therapist (obviously my number one solution for all things) about this particular episode of anxiety and she spat some straight wisdom. She told me that the centers in our brains that process excitement and anxiety are really close to each other and that sometimes when you’re excited, your brain can process that as anxiety instead.

My mind was blown.

I evaluated my feelings of anxiety – was it just excitement? A large part of it was! When I start feeling anxious about my holiday I take a moment to sit with that feeling and ask myself: is this just excitement? If the answer is yes, just remind yourself each time that feeling comes back that you’re actually really really excited for your holiday and it’s manifesting as anxiety.

See Your Therapist

I know we don’t all have access to a therapist or counselor – so even just talk it through with a friend or trusted family member. It can be hard to talk about, but the outside perspective can often offer a lot of insight that you might have missed because you’re just too close to the issue.

My therapist asked me, well, do I really want to travel to a new destination, or was I just feeling obligated to? The answer was that I just felt obligated to travel to a new place when I seriously just wanted to go back to Japan. It really relieved a lot of the anxiety I felt choosing a destination to get that affirmation that IT’S OKAY TO REVISIT A PLACE YOU ENJOYED!

Make a List and Research the Shit out of your Potential Destinations

I, personally, do not relish doing research and scrolling painstakingly through hundreds of travel websites but it was a necessarily evil in assuaging my anxiety about choosing a destination. Plus, it’s something you’re going to have to do anyway.

I recommend making a list of all the things you want to do or see or get out of this vacation. Do you want to relax on a beach? Great – write that down. Do you want to climb mountains? Also great – write it down. Are you there for history? Food? Culture? Whatever it is, write it down. Then narrow this list down to a few key points that are most important to you on your holiday – this list is going to act as your litmus test to see if a destination is truly somewhere you want to go.

Then you can start researching. Time for another list! Write down what each destination can offer you in your budget and the area you want to visit. Check that against your first list. If it doesn’t meet most of your most necessary criteria, give it a pass this time. Do this until you found the location that meets the most of your vacay checklist.

Voila, you’re done! You found your ideal vacation destination AND got a bunch of research out of the way early on.

I really hope these tips help you and if you want to talk about it, you can always DM me on instagram! Travel can be really draining for someone with anxiety and I just wanna have a good time and help y’all have a good time.

What are your top tips for choosing a holiday destination?